Episode 14: Jaci Velasquez: When Life Gets Broken
Transcript
Patsy: Hi, I’m Patsy Clairmont, and I’m a Boomer.
Andrew: I’m Andrew Greer, and I’m a Millennial.
Patsy: And you are listening to Bridges.
Andrew: Spiritual Connections Through Generational Conversations.
Patsy: Jaci is absolutely darling and very vivacious. She’s had the opportunity and the privilege of being a mom to a boy with autism, and she addresses in her book what happens when things don’t work out the way you think they will when there’s interruptions in your life. So I know there are a lot of you out there who have had an interruption of some type, and you are going to value greatly from hearing our singer, songwriter, friend share with you.
Andrew: Absolutely. Her book is titled When God Rescripts Your Life: Seeing Value, Beauty, and Purpose When Life Is Interrupted. Please join us as we welcome our good friend, Jaci Velasquez.
Patsy: I have the joy of presenting a bridge each week, and this one is the Celebration Bridge. It’s in San Angelo, Texas, and I picked it because our guest is from Texas and she is a celebration.
Andrew: As am I.
Patsy: Excuse me?
Andrew: I said as am I, from Texas.
Patsy: Oh, well.
Andrew: We’re not talking about me, right?
Patsy: Do you know what? We are not, Andrew. Go right over there and sit down.
This bridge, one of the things that makes it such a celebration is that they’re always doing fun things there. They’re having fishing derbies, they’re having art shows, they’re having concerts. I mean, it’s not just a span to get you from the right side to the left side or over the top, but it is placed there to bring community together.
And when I thought of you, Jaci, I thought of Celebration Bridge because you are a celebration, and I’d like you to share some of the ways you celebrate life.
Jaci: Oh boy, celebration. First of all, thank you. I love San Angelo. I’m actually going there I think in April.
Andrew: Are you?
Jaci: Yeah, for a concert.
The way I celebrate life is, okay, my kids and I, we do something. We haven’t done it in a few months, but something that we enjoy doing is we just turn up music in the living room and just dance, and we jump on the couches and jump off the couches and keep dancing.
Andrew: You’re like mom of the year or the century for kids.
Jaci: I think it’s a blast. I’m also the mother that I apologize to anybody that’s stayed in the same hotel with us. If you heard jumping over top, it was us because I let my kids, when we go to hotels, we jump from bed to bed to bed, and I join in.
Andrew: Where’s Nic in all that?
Jaci: He just thinks I’m a child. My husband thinks I’m a child. He’s like, “Uh, Jaci, at some point you’re gonna have to mature.” Nah, I like to have fun.
So I guess the way we celebrate is just being together, just doing fun stuff, and sometimes breaking what the world calls rules, like jumping on beds. I think it’s fun. I think it’s good for you. It’s good for the soul.
“The way we celebrate is just being together.”
Andrew: You know, I wonder, like if you think of Jaci Velasquez the artist, the musical artist, which we’re basically peers and so I kind of grew up with your music as you were growing up with your music too because you were 15, 16 with that first record deal. You immediately have a platinum record and Doves and Grammy nominations, a lot going on. You were talking about how in your childhood, I mean, you grew up literally singing on the road, right?
Jaci: Yes. From the time I was 9-years-old, I started traveling with my parents because my parents were evangelists. Prior to that, my dad was a pastor, but then he felt like God was calling him into the evangelistic field. So I was the only kid at home. Both my older brothers were in college already, so I had to go. Like they couldn't leave me. So we packed everything up, rented out our house, and we drove around in an ‘85 Honda Accord from church to church around the country.
Andrew: Do you think some of that childlike spirit… Like when I was thinking of you jumping with your preteen kids back and forth in hotels, is some of that because you didn’t maybe get some of that as a child?
Jaci: Probably so. Some people can see it as trauma, but I see it as like a gift to kind of be thrust into a world of grownups where you have to be a grownup but you still miss being a kid, which kind of makes me a fun mom because I can live out vicariously my childhood along with my children. Is that crazy?
Andrew: Well, every therapist is saying it is.
Jaci: They’re going, That poor girl. She needs therapy.
My husband tells me this sometimes, he goes, “You have a childlike way about you.” And he goes, “And I love that about you.” He calls me his little girl. He goes, “You’re my little girl.” And I’m like, “Oh, I love you.”
But just I think being so quickly thrust into the world of music and…
Patsy: Responsibility because you had to be ready to…
Jaci: On stage to sing.
Patsy: Exactly.
Jaci: So not going to school, not having those experiences. Sometimes it’s funny, my husband laughs at me, because after fourth grade, I don’t have any experience as to what school is like because I was homeschooled from that point on. So when my oldest son reached fifth grade, I was like, This is beyond me. I don’t understand this. I was like, “Nicolas, what happens in fifth grade? He goes, “You’ll be fine.”
Then sixth grade rolled around for Zealand. I’m like, “Oh my goodness, how does sixth grade work?” He goes, “Well, Jaci, they switch classes.” “Well, what if Zealand can’t remember his locker number?” And then he’s like, “He’s gonna be fine.” I was like, “But how does he get from place to place? How does that work? He’s got to change clothes for gym? I don’t understand this.”
Patsy: It was a different world, wasn’t it?
Jaci: Yeah, yeah. I never got to experience those things, so my picture of that world was I would watch movies. So I used to sit in the back of my parents’ Honda Accord. It was a VCR, TV combo that you could plug in to the cigarette lighter, and that’s how I did my schoolwork was through videotapes. So after I was done with my schoolwork, all the videotapes were done that I had to watch, that I mostly tried to watch — it was school, so I hated school — I would watch movies. So we would stop at truck stops, and my parents would buy me a new VHS tape to watch because we had to go from, you know, Albuquerque, New Mexico, to Merced, California, so that was a long drive.
So that was my vision and version of what life was like for people other than myself, so I would watch movies to kind of...it was my window into what the world was like, which obviously is nothing like that.
Andrew: Well, yeah, in some ways, but when you don’t know. I mean, when your picture is already kind of movie-esque in the sense of not being totally grounded in a lot of your peers’ realities. You kind of were living an altered reality too.
Jaci: For sure. But I had no clue that it was an altered reality because as we were talking about earlier, children adapt. They adapt to whatever their environment is, and they just go along with it. So to me, I romanticized what my peers’ lives were like, but they were probably romanticizing what my life was like.
Patsy: Yes, everybody thinks somebody else’s lifestyle sounds more inviting than what they’ve experienced, until you get to a point to begin to appreciate what came with it and also to deal with the things that weren’t exactly what you would’ve wished for. That’s true for all of us.
Jaci: I think so. Well, actually, one of the girls from my church, she text me the other day, and she goes, “I need some wisdom. How can I get to a place of being content?” And so with that, I thought to myself, Okay, hmm, the source of the need for content or lack of content is selfishness. So I said, “Well, when you don’t feel content, focus on somebody else. Focus on how you can help somebody else. Do something for somebody else.”
Because we live in such a society of comparison, with Instagram, with Facebook, with all this stuff, we compare ourselves and our lives to that person versus being grateful for what God has bestowed upon us, being grateful for just the air that we breathe. That’s a beautiful concept, just to wake up. So when we live in that world of comparison, it’s so dangerous because we’re basically saying, “Well, God, what you’ve given me is not enough.”
Andrew: Yeah, and not valuable. I don’t exactly know how this relates, but the picture it brings in mind to me was there was some awards show more recently — I can’t remember. I don’t know if it was Golden Globes or something with a bunch of celebrities in the room. Someone got up for their thank you speech that won an award. Again, I cannot remember exactly who this was. But they were thanking people, and then they said, “I want us all to be quiet for a minute or close our eyes and think about the people who first influenced us as children. For some of you, that may be a teacher. For some, it may be a parent. For some of you, it may be a sibling, whatever.”
It was kind of interesting. People at first were a little uncomfortable because it’s in this highfalutin situation, but people did. They calmed down, and as the cameras panned people’s faces, you just saw tears streaming down people’s faces. And I think about that because I think about the people they’re thinking about — it’s probably not the person with a million followers on Instagram. You know what I mean?
So what that says then is that each of us, no matter where our sphere of influence or how large our sphere of influence is, the value, the quantity, of that influence can be so great. And I do believe that you’re right. That’s a spiritual gift that’s imparted through us to benefit those around us. Don’t you feel that way about me in your life, Patsy?
Patsy: And moving right along, Jaci.
Jaci: Y’all are silly.
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Patsy: Okay, so tell me this because some of the audience will not be familiar with your family, so tell us the names of your sons very slowly because the names are very unique.
Jaci: Yes, they are. So our oldest son, his name is Zealand, as in New Zealand and even spelled the same way. And then our youngest who’s 11, his name is Soren with an S, so it’s S-O-R-E-N.
Patsy: And where did these names come from?
Jaci: Okay. Well, when I was pregnant with Zealand, we were trying to figure out a name for Zealand because I knew that Zealand was going to be something different, he was going to be just unique in some way, and I knew that God had a ministry in store for Zealand. We were in the car. I remember we were in Green Hills parking lot. I was getting out of the car. I was so uncomfortable. I hated it. I did not enjoy being pregnant. I’m going to admit to that. Some people love it. Some people are like me.
So he mentioned the name Leeland. I was like, “No, there’s a band called Leeland. The guy’s gonna think that we’re stalking him or something.” And then he goes, “Well, how about Zealand?” I was like, “Zealand, okay. Um, I like that.” So I went home, got on the computer. I googled “Zealand.” There was nobody on the planet named Zealand. He would be the first one ever. Since then, there have been more kids named Zealand, but he was the first one.
But then when you look up what Zealand means, “land of zeal,” yes. You can take that as well, but it actually derives from a certain body of water off of the coast of Denmark I believe. It’s kind of its own thing, if you will, which is kind of like Zealand. He’s kind of his own thing.
Then Soren is actually named after Søren Kierkegaard.
Andrew: Really?
Patsy: Oh, wonderful.
Jaci: So the Danish philosopher.
Andrew: Is he a philosopher of sorts?
Jaci: Actually, oddly enough, Soren is the person that is always listening, paying attention, processing, and has such an old soul and has wisdom already built into him in a way that only the Holy Spirit could’ve done, because yeah, you can teach your kids all this stuff, but if it doesn’t sink in and truly stick, it’s just words. You’re teaching, but it’s not sticking. It doesn’t mean anything.
But for him, he does have this way about him. He’s kind of like a politician, not in a bad way, in a good way, the good stuff, where he’ll walk up to you and go, “Well, hello, Ms. Patsy. It’s very good to meet you. Thank you so much for talking to my mom.” And then he’ll say, “Hi, Mr. Andy. I like your jacket. It is very nice.”
Andrew: Articulate.
Patsy: Old soul, purposeful.
Jaci: Very much so. Intentional.
Andrew: I think the lesson of this is name your kids what you want them to be.
Patsy: I believe there’s a lot of value in that. I think a name rests very deeply on a person because it is the offering that we give to other people when we want them to know us. “Hi, my name is Patsy. What’s yours?” And then there’s that exchange. It’s really personal.
Jaci: I love that concept when you picture it. It’s the offering. Can you say that again?
Patsy: It’s the offering we give to each other, and it’s so deeply personal. If I say to you, “I’m Patsy Clairmont,” you’ll say, “Oh, that’s nice.” But if I say to you, “Hi, my name is Patsy,” I’ve offered you friendship, I’ve offered you the most important thing I have and that is my identity, and I’m saying to you, This is who I am, and I want to share that with you.
I think that’s why one of the No. 1 opening sentences of any book ever written was in Moby Dick, and it says, “My name is Ishmael.” It’s because it was that offering of I’m going to let you in on my story. This is who I am, and you may call me that.
Jaci: Wow, that’s such an incredible concept.
Andrew: Yeah, there’s an element of humility in it too.
Jaci: It’s so true. It’s something you never even think about, but when you put it like that, it’s powerful. It’s saying, “Here. This is me. This is my identity. I’m offering you friendship.” Now, the only issue is what if they don’t want to be your friend?
Andrew: Then you go to the next.
Jaci: Then you change your name. You don’t know my name after all.
Patsy: Then you say to them, “I said my name is Patsy. Actually, I’m Mrs. Clairmont.”
Andrew: That’s right, yeah. That’s how you build that wall real quick.
Patsy: Some walls are necessary because they help protect you from something that may be very undesirable, and you may not know that till after a few moments or a long season. But building a wall doesn’t mean that you could never have relationship with the person; it’s that you do that relationship differently.
Jaci: Well, it’s having a healthy boundary. That’s what that is.
Andrew: Yeah, which takes years to learn for most of us I would say.
Jaci: Oh yes, it surely does.
Andrew: I think about lack of boundaries and, you know, children being thrust into spotlights. Unless there’s a group of people helping protect them on a very guarded basis, you’re operating, you’re thinking through, you’re responding to things really in an adult world still as a child. Do you remember the first time that you thought consciously to yourself, kind of in a bit of reclaiming something, There needs to be a boundary about this and I’m going to enlist that? Almost like taking choice back at some point in time. Do you remember anything like that?
Jaci: Because when I started I was so young, 9-years-old and I got my first record deal when I was 14. My parents had to sign the record deal for me obviously because I wasn’t of age. For me, I think I built unhealthy boundaries in ways toward like I thought I knew better than the people that were around me many times. But the reality is I should’ve listened to wisdom because a lot for me with my career and ministry that was thrust upon me, it was like somebody handed me the keys to a sports car but I didn’t have my driver’s license.
As a child, you’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to make poor choices. With every choice, there’s a consequence, be it good or bad, and sometimes those consequences, it’s difficult when the whole world can see them. My peers at that time were probably making choices that affected their lives but no one else could see it. Does that make sense?
Andrew: Or there was space around it for education. I think when you have a lot of people watching on, you don’t have the kind of space to learn, and part of learning is making poor choices but having the room to then talk about it or to receive the consequence and have adults speak into, all that kind of thing. Where your pace was probably so fast that…
Jaci: Yeah, it was too fast. It was really fast. This is the thing that I always come back to: If I had to go through it all again and do everything over again to end up where I am today, I would do it. But man, it’d sure be easier to not have to go through all the pain and all that stuff to get to this point. But I believe, once again, that’s God pruning us, allowing us to go through the hurt and the pain so that we can come out on the other side and know that was not you, that was me, but I confused my dream with your calling. And that happens quite a bit. It’s a desire of my heart, and he knows the desires of my heart. We can confuse that with what he truly wants us to do.
And so for me, there were times that I had these dreams, and they were Jaci dreams versus not too much of God in there, mostly Jaci, Jaci, Jaci wanting what she wanted. So I think that happens quite a bit in life, and it’s understanding the difference between those two things and listening for his interpretation of what our dreams are.
Patsy: And do you talk about that in your book, What God Rescripts Your Life? Is that part, because I know that while life is a celebration, there is that turning point of stepping from celebration into a reality-based season that changes your whole view of who you are, who God is, and how you will celebrate from that point forward differently, more deeply, more aware of God being involved in all of it. So tell us about this book. And was it hard to write?
Jaci: There were moments that were hard to write because there are parts… When you make poor choices, you can live with the shame or you can lay it at the cross. Sometimes we choose to live with the shame and not hand it over. So yes, there were parts that were definitely difficult to write.
I think for me, my celebration comes from pain, if you will. So the pain took me to the place where I could celebrate. When Zealand, our oldest son, was born, he was the perfect...oh my goodness. My husband and I were just talking about him yesterday. He was the easiest, most incredible baby. When he was in my belly, I remember Max Lucado, he prayed for Zealand, he prayed for this baby that was growing in my belly at one of his events, and I was just like, Thank you, Jesus. I know my son is going to have a ministry. I felt it in my bones.
Now fast forward, Zealand’s born, easy baby. We could go have sushi, and he would just lay in his little seat and just be happy. He would wake up and not cry, just wake up and look around, be happy. But then thank God he was born first because had the little brother been born first, he would’ve been the only child. That’s all I can say.
“My celebration comes from pain.”
Patsy: I hear you.
Jaci: Yes. So as time went by, the boys were 14 and a half months apart, so they’re really close in age. We didn’t plan that, FYI. That was not a part of the plan. So little brother was born, and as time was going on, we kind of noticed just that the milestones that Soren was hitting, he was kind of meeting his milestones a little quicker.
My typical way of doing life is when I notice something, I’ll just bury my head in the sand and pretend it’s not there and it’ll fix itself, right. But it’s my son, so 19-months-old we had somebody from the Tennessee Early Intervention come in and test Zealand. So they tested Zealand, and they said, “Well, he’s delayed. He’s got a pervasive developmental delay.” So that means he’s going to catch up, right? To me, as a mom, I’m like, Okay, we can do that. Occupational therapy, speech therapy, 19-months-old — we can do this. We’ll do whatever it takes.
Time keeps going on, Soren, the little brother, is really just meeting these milestones. Like 2-years-old, 3-years-old, he’s having full conversations. At two and a half, he’s talking to us, and Zealand didn’t do that at two and a half.
Okay, it’s time for kindergarten. Zealand’s been in speech therapy. He’s been in occupational therapy. He’s delayed, but he’s gonna catch up. Kindergarten comes. They roll out this incredible plan for Zealand. He is going to have the red carpet of an individualized educational program, IEP. Okay, this is awesome. So he’s got somebody that’s going to help him, to prompt him to get his work done. Kindergarten, this is great.
First grade, same thing — beautiful IEP, red carpet, best of the best. Second grade rolls around, end of second grade. At this point, little brother’s in kindergarten, Zealand’s in second grade. It’s the spring part of second grade. They have to officially kind of give him a diagnosis because he can’t just walk around with pervasive developmental delay, because after second grade your grades really matter, so it makes a difference.
So they got together with the pediatrician, with the people from the whole county, the school district. Everybody was involved in this thing. They sat us down in this huge conference room at the school, and they said, “Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales, we’ve all gotten together, and well, Zealand’s autistic.” I’m like, “Artistic?” Autistic.
I’m going, Hmm, no. This is in my mind. I’m going, No, because that means he’s broken, but God showed me in my bones he was going to have a ministry. How can he have a ministry if he can’t communicate because in ministry you have to communicate. Daddy and I have been making music and singing for Jesus, about Jesus, to Jesus since we were children. I slept in the back of a Honda Accord to go from church to church to church to sing about Jesus. Surely, God is going to bless my first born son with a ministry because I didn’t even go to school. This is not the way it’s supposed to go.
And so I just started bawling. All this is happening in my brain, and I just start bawling. And my husband, he’s the guy sitting next to me, he’s super strong, and he’s like, “Okay. Now we know what we’re working with. Now we can devise another plan.” And as a mom, all I hear is everything you dreamt about your son, all the dreams you had for him, they’re dead, so now what do you do?
I had to go through a mourning period. I had to go through a mourning period of mourning the dreams I had for my son, asking the question, “Will my son ever have a full life? Will he ever grow up and get married? Will he know what it feels like to be loved? Will he have that experience?” I had to mourn all of those things and ask those questions, and I was very angry with God, very angry with God. But I had to go through that mourning period to be able to begin to dream new dreams.
So during that time, it was about a six-month period — and I’m not going to lie, there are still moments where it creeps back up on me because I always hold out this hope. I’m waiting for this next step.
After that sixth-month period, God didn’t speak to me. Like I was angry with him, I was mad at him; he wasn’t saying anything to me. It wasn’t fair. I kept going, “Why aren’t you saying anything? You’re going to let me yell at you and be angry at you and not say anything back. You don’t have a comeback for me?” He didn’t say anything. He let me be angry. He let me yell at him. It’s like David in Psalms. He’s like, Okay, be mad, be mad, be mad.
But then after that time, it’s like I could feel him in my spirit just say, “You’re done now. It’s time to get yourself up and start to fight because you have to fight. You have to fight for your son; he cannot fight for himself.”
It’s like when he gives you something that you think you’re just not going to be able to handle, he equips you with everything that you didn’t even know you had in you. So I don’t like conflict. I don’t like confrontation. That is not my personality. I am INFP. I don’t enjoy that. But God saw something in me, saw something that I was willing to get out of my comfort zone because I love my son that much. So he saw something in me. He saw strength. He saw courage. He saw a brave person who was willing to do whatever it took to fight for her kid to have every opportunity at success in life.
So I fight. That’s what I do. I fight for my son.
Patsy: Is that what your book is about, the rescripting?
Jaci: Yes. What’s fascinating about Zealand is this: They call it scripting. Every autistic kid is different. There’s not one that’s alike. It’s amazing to me. So for Zealand, you’ll have a conversation with him, you’ll go, “Hey Zealand, what do you think about that game over there?” And he’ll tell you something about the game, but it’s a line from a film. So he can watch a movie one time and memorize what the lines are, so he’ll answer you with something that we call it movie talk, but it’s called scripting in the autistic world.
Andrew: So he’s using that as his language almost.
Jaci: Correct. And so we have to remind him. I’ll go, “Zealand, I want to hear Zealand talk, not movie talk. Zealand talk.” And what’s amazing and what is so good about the God we serve is he gave Zealand the perfect little brother, the perfect little brother, for him. They complement each other so well because our little one talks nonstop. He does all the talking for Zealand. And then sometimes he gets annoyed. He’s like, “Zealand, why do I always have to do all the talking? You talk.” And Zealand’s like, “Well, okay.”
It’s interesting to me how God that Zealand would need Soren because Soren has so much compassion. We have not even told Soren yet that Zealand’s autistic. He accepts his brother for who he is. He doesn’t even think he’s different. He’s just Zealand. And because of his love for his big brother, he is the same child at school that I have had numerous parents come to me and say, “Your son Soren is so special.” They have a special needs child, and they go, “Soren is the only one that talks to my daughter, that talks to my little boy.” He just doesn’t even realize that God has given me this compassion. He doesn’t even know why, but God just has birthed that in him. He just has a soft heart toward people that are different.
Patsy: Is that precious.
Andrew: It’s interesting that what you’re talking about is the dynamic of family. What I’ve always loved about you and Nic and anytime I’ve gotten to interact with your children is that, to me, though a child with autism should never be minimized in that it’s just his thing or whatever. You know, there’s significant challenges and obstacles that come with that, which you know because you’re fighting through those every day. But every family has its dynamic, and I think every family that wants to be together, that tries to be together, is to some degree from a spiritual thought process equipped with the resources. Not only are you equipped with resources but Soren is equipped with resources he didn’t even know he had, and Nic is equipped with that, and Zealand is equipped with that to some degree.
I think a family is one of our most beautiful examples of how the community of God interacts with each other, so you’re still seeing a very “normal” family life. I hate to use that word in terms of someone with a challenge like autism, but there is that kind of cultural tendency to put things as abnormal, to say, Well, it’s going to be totally different for you. Well, in some ways, no, there’s different sets of challenges, and they may be more significant at times as far as what they require from you and the family, but it’s sets of challenges. It’s dynamic. It’s family. It’s beautiful.
“A family is one of our most beautiful examples of how the community of God interacts with each other.”
Jaci: I think what’s amazing is the fact that God is not going to put you in a role that he doesn’t give you the script for, if you allow him to give you the script instead of trying to go and do your own thing, to be the writer. God is writing our story. He is the Great Author. He is the author of the greatest story ever told, and if we allow him to truly write our story, even when we don’t like what he is writing because sometimes we’re not going to like parts of the story that he’s written for us.
Like my son being autistic, I don’t like it, but that’s the story he’s written for me. I don’t know what his plan is, we are still on that journey, but I am down for it. I’ll do whatever he wants. I just want to be in his will and let him write the story.
Andrew: Patsy, I hear that you have a book club.
Patsy: I do. Books are what God used to help heal me, so it delights me to offer that service to others, that they could sign up, anybody. All y’alls, come on in. We want you to join in the book club, and we will read ourselves silly and sane. We’ll have different selections, one every month with a bonus. You can check it out: patsyclairmont.com. And also on that page, you’ll see that I do cheerleading for people. I coach them in helping them stir up their creativity to tell their story. But here’s what I know: You’re into a different kind of storytelling, and you’ve been set up to win awards for what you’ve done.
Andrew: I love music, and I have a new record out called Tune My Heart, and it includes some of my really close friends, some of your friends, like Sandra McCracken and Cindy Morgan and Buddy Greene. And you can find that record anywhere you stream or download, or at andrew-greer.com. You know what else, Patsy?
Patsy: What?
Andrew: I’ve got another podcast. It’s not my favorite podcast, but if you like listening to Bridges, then you might like listening to and viewing Dinner Conversations with our pal Mark Lowry and myself. You can find it on Apple Podcasts or Amazon Prime, or simply go to dinner-conversations.com.
Bridges Sponsorship Message
Patsy: Andrew, I’m so excited that one of our sponsors is Food for the Hungry because I like people who are feeding people. I say let’s get to the basic need that a person has, and let’s build up from there. And when you feed a child, you feed their brain, you feed their disposition, you feed their ability to have strength to do the hard work that oftentimes is involved, even if it’s just their studies. If the synapses aren’t snapping, it’s gonna really be tough, so Food for the Hungry’s got the right idea, and they’re talking chickens.
Andrew: That’s right, Patsy. Bawk-bawk-bawk. You can give a family a chicken or a pair of chickens to help them find the nutrition they need on a daily basis, as well as these chickens are producing eggs all the time. We know that, right? We have friends and neighbors who have chickens now here in the States, and they provide those eggs, which then can be sold at market. So a chicken is this warehouse of opportunity for a family. Now, get this: You can provide one chicken for a family in need for $14. That’s it. That’s the chicken. That chicken lives for eight to 10 years and provides those daily eggs. It’s incredible. You can provide a pair of chickens, because we know chickens multiply fast, to help that family on an even deeper level for $28.
Patsy: Yes. I love the idea you can double the blessing for just $28, and this goes to countries like Bolivia, Peru, Ethiopia, Rwanda, and the Dominican Republic. So it’s a wide reach, and it’s something that God spoke to us about and that is giving to the poor and offering something that will help their life. Let’s feed the hungry.
Andrew: Go to fh.org/bridges to provide some chickens for families in need today.
Patsy: And every chicken you purchase for our friends across the world, it becomes an entry into our first ever Bridges giveaway.
Andrew: That’s right. One winner and a guest will receive roundtrip airfare, one night’s lodging, and ground transportation for a getaway in our hometown, Patsy, of Franklin, Tennessee. Plus, we’ll take you to dinner and interview you on a special episode of Bridges.
Patsy: The winner will be drawn on March 31, 2021, so get your chicken before then.
Patsy: You’re married to Nic Gonzales, and you are not only a singer but a songwriter. Have you dipped into the well of your family experience for some of your songs?
Jaci: Well, we have to do that separately, or we have to have a third party…
Patsy: Like a therapist.
Jaci: Yes, that’s exactly what we call it. Because when he and I write, we both have strong opinions about our melodies or our lines…
Patsy: So you need a bridge.
Jaci: Yes.
Andrew: i.e., a co-writer.
Jaci: Yes, we have to have a third person in the room because we have to have somebody that can break the tie.
But yes, we have some to a degree. I think what’s interesting about Nic and I, we actually don’t talk too much about music. We do life. We’re doing life together. But there are times when we do have to talk about music.
We always travel together, and so we always have to have a road manager too because if Nic is telling me what to do, I’m like, “Why do I have to be there at that time?” He’s like, “Jaci, just get ready.” I’m like, “Ugh, you’re always bossing me around, Nic.”
Andrew: He’s like, “That’s right. Get yourself to the venue.”
Jaci: “Get there in time. Don’t be late.”
Patsy: So what you’re saying is when we see the two of you and everything looks perfect, it’s actually more like us than we realize, that we have our struggles, our disagreements, our…
Jaci: We get frustrated with each other.
Patsy: Yeah. Alright then.
Andrew: Even pretty people get frustrated with each other.
Jaci: You know what’s interesting to me. I was actually talking to my community group, the girls from last night, and they were asking me about advice when it comes to relationships. I was like, “Every relationship is different because every person’s different.” I said, “For Nic and I, we love hard, we fight hard, but there’s no in between. It is hot or cold, or hotter.” It’s just our makeup. And I love it. I can’t imagine being with anybody else. We complete each other. It’s a beautiful picture for me of how Christ loved the church, and I love that he gives us that gift to have on this earth.
Patsy: How long have you been married?
Jaci: Over 13 years.
Patsy: Wonderful, wonderful.
Andrew: Halfway there.
Jaci: What? I’m only 40, dear God.
Andrew: I was with some friends when they were celebrated like their third anniversary, like a real early one or something. It hadn’t crossed their mind because of this weekend that we were all a part of, and I guess they were celebrating later. We were all sitting around, and they were like, “Oh, today’s anniversary. It’s our third anniversary.” The wife, she was doing something else, and she was like, “Halfway there.” She kind of looked up like, What does that mean? I was like, if marriage only required six years, I’m in.
Patsy: Well, I’ve been married 57, so maybe I should say halfway there.
Andrew: Exactly. I love it.
Jaci: 57 years. That’s amazing.
Patsy: And it hasn’t been easy. And we both are very feisty, and we’ve needed a lot of bridges built so we could hear the other one. But it has come together in moments and seasons of celebration, and it is in the hardship that we are most committed to each other because of the work of Christ. And that’s what I hear you saying. I hear bridges all the way through your life, whether it was the bridge between you and God that needed some repair, or between and your understanding of your son’s challenges and your willingness to cross that bridge and do what you needed to on behalf of both of you, or your bridges in your marriage.
I just want to encourage everybody to make sure they get a copy of your book, When God Rescripts Your Life, because it’s a book full of hope. It is a call to wherever you’re at, there is a place where you can meet on a bridge of celebration before the Lord. You can actually be grateful for the hardest thing you’ve ever faced because of the work of Christ.
Jaci: Yes. He is making us holy, and we have to allow him to do that, even when it hurts.
Patsy: I’m Patsy Clairmont. You’ve been listening to Bridges.
Andrew: And I’m Andrew Greer. Spiritual Connections Through Generational Conversations. We are so grateful for our guest this hour, Jaci Velasquez. Thank you so much, Jaci Velasquez Gonzales.
Jaci: It’s all of it.
Andrew: All of it. You are all of it, and we are grateful.
Jaci: Thank you, thank you.
Patsy: Bridges is co-produced by Andrew Greer and myself, Patsy Clairmont.
Andrew: And our podcast is recorded and mixed by Jesse Phillips at the Arcade in Franklin, Tennessee.
Patsy: Remember, don’t forget to leave us a rating, a review, or a comment. It all helps our little show get going.
Andrew: To find out more about my co-host Patsy Clairmont or myself, Andrew Greer, or to read transcripts of our show, simply go to bridgesshow.com.
“[A name] is the offering that we give to other people when we want them to know us.”