Episode 30: Christmas 2021: Creating Space for the Holidays
Transcript
Patsy: Hi, I’m Patsy Clairmont, and I’m a Boomer.
Andrew: And I’m Andrew Greer, and I’m a Millennial.
Patsy: And you are listening to Bridges.
Andrew: Spiritual Connections Through Generational Conversations
Patsy: Season Two of Bridges is brought to you by Food for the Hungry.
Andrew: Meeting the physical and spiritual needs of people all around the world for over 40 years.
Patsy: We’re in the Christmas season. And my favorite dingaling is sitting across for me, Andrew Greer, and Andrew, you have something to say about what’s coming up.
Andrew: I sure do. You know, last year we did a holiday-themed episode called “What Does This Make Possible?” Well, this year we’re talking about what else might be possible through the holidays.
We thought last year was a humdinger, and turns out, we kept going. This year was too. But what we want to talk about is creating space by simplifying, and of course, this is regardless of the year we have culturally or what we find ourselves working through personally. Simplifying to create space will always benefit our disposition around the holidays or any time.
Patsy: Yes. There’s nothing better as a gift we can give ourselves and others than our sanity, and we won’t be sane if we get caught up in some of the expectations we have for the season. And here is the truth of the matter: We’ve been through a lot, and we need to have some grace space for our hearts and we need to offer it to others.
Andrew: So come on in. Join us for Bridges.
Andrew Greer singing “O Come, O Come, Immanuel”
O come, O come, Immanuel,
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Immanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel
Patsy: Thank you, Andrew. I love to hear you strum on that little ukulele and to sing the Christmas songs based on our Jesus, and he has been the bridge over all our troubled water. He has been the bridge that’s brought us hope. Jesus is the way and the truth and the light, and it is with great joy that we celebrate that together.
Andrew: Absolutely. I think that Christmas is full of feelings. That may be an understatement, isn’t it?
“Christmas is full of feelings.”
Patsy: I’m not certain why it stirs everything up, but it not only stirs up our last Christmas, it stirs up every Christmas we’ve ever had that is in our memory, and that’s a lot to think on.
Andrew: It sure is. It can be a lot to digest; it can be a lot to hold within us. You know, we have to find ways to kind of release those feelings so that we can be present in the holiday that’s in front of us without all the holidays past being the sole amount of information that we bring into the holiday present. That’s how I think of it, at least, so that I can truly be present to make the new memories or to make the current memories.
Now, a bit of nostalgia is part of what the holidays are about. Of course, I think about my grandparents on my mother’s side who I was really close with, and they, of course, have both passed away now. And so Christmas can be a time that allows me some of the space to remember, and I think although there can be a little sadness mixed in that, overall there’s a lot of joy because of the goodness of that relationship. So Christmas can give us the permission.
I still have a note on my calendar. I used to call my granddad every Monday until he passed away. That was eight years ago, and I still can’t delete that recurring thing. So I have ways throughout my weeks of remembering them, but Christmas gives me the permission to remember them with a little more full bodiedness to conjure up some real reminiscing, to remember spending a Christmas with them or even just spending time with them at their house or on a trip.
So there is that beautiful permission of Christmas, but we have to give ourselves permission during the holidays in a lot of ways, and one of those is the permission to create not more schedule but space. How do you create space in the holidays, and what is the purpose of having more space in your holiday, Patsy?
Patsy: Well, actually, one of the spaces is my decorating time, even though I have brought that way down. I now no longer have five Christmas trees.
Andrew: Which is not overkill at all.
Patsy: And I no longer have flashing lights in every room. I mean, I’ve really toned things down and made space for simplicity so that I can think and feel because, like you said, there’s so much that comes up inside of us in the way of feelings. And while we don’t want to indulge and become melancholy and go into sad sack mode, we also do need to acknowledge some of our feelings. So the spaces of just putting up decorations and not making it a race of time but making it a quiet space of contemplation.
I play some lovely music, some of your hymns on albums.
Andrew: That doesn’t stress you out?
Patsy: Oh my goodness, that blesses me to hear you sing. I love your heart for the hold hymns, and I love the old hymns because they were part of my past. So it all fits together very nicely.
Andrew: Yeah, there is a connection. One of the beauties of Christmas carols, which really parallel the hymnody of the church in that they’ve been around for centuries now…
Patsy: Hymnody. Is that a word?
Andrew: Hymnody, yes.
Patsy: I am really struck with that. How come I didn’t know this? I would’ve been throwing it at you.
Andrew: Well, maybe that’s why. I wanted to give you less ammo. I’ll keep it for myself, thank you very much.
But carols carry that antiquity, that history with it, and there’s a beauty in that because I do think while we want to be present in this holiday and we want to be mindful of who is around us and our needs and their needs, to make it the happiest or the best Christmas that we can, that we’re able to within our resources, I do think that the echoes of the past help bolster that, help give us a foundation for that.
I still listen to… I can’t remember what the name of it is on my Apple Music playlist. There’s a singing group from way back when that sang carols in kind of a very choral style. It feels very Norman Rockwell-ish. Well, you can’t paint that as a very unrealistic scene. Everything is not twinkling lights and rosy all the time, but sometimes because everything’s not perfect, we then don’t allow any of the beauty in. Does that make sense?
I’ve known some people who, because there was great hurt around the holidays or maybe in family relationships, that they really struggle to grow or evolve into a space where they don’t have to carry all the hurt with them, but they can still enjoy some of the harmonies of the holidays. How do we do that? How do we not let one season of our life shape all the seasons of our lives?
Patsy: One of the things I would say is are you doing anything in the holiday time that absolutely represents stress and not celebration. So for instance, maybe you’re the one that always has holidays at your house and maybe you want to continue that but you don’t want it to be just all labor. You want to know the joy of Jesus, the reason for the season.
So I would say look at it again with fresh eyes and find ways you can take some of the stress off of you and give it as an opportunity for someone else to be invested in that circle of celebration.
I make life difficult. I am a great deal of my own problem by overdramatizing or by not sharing with someone else. I have five things to do, but these days I’m only capable of three, if I’m going to do them well, so help me to creatively think how these other two can still be covered. And it’s interesting how willing people are if you’re not yelling out of your frustration but you’re sharing out of your need.
Andrew: I love that a lot. It reminds me very much, as we’re talking about, creating space by simplifying.
I don’t think my mom will mind me sharing this, but she sent an email to my brothers and me maybe about a year ago, just saying that when we do congregate at my parents’ house, even though I don’t think she loves admitting this because it’s a little bit admission of age, and she’s a very independent, very able woman, but she’s realizing that when we all congregate there at their house, she needs some help that she didn’t need before. Just to make it also an enjoyable experience for her, where she’s not recuperating for a week afterward or whatever it is. It doesn’t even really matter. If my mom’s requesting it, because she’s a healthy individual, we know to take that request seriously.
And so she just in her cute way and definitely had some funnies in it and some emojis and things like that in the email, but requested that or let us know to lean into observation a little bit, that we might need to do a few more dishes or we might need to volunteer beforehand and say, “Hey, you know what. We’re gonna cook that meal. We’re coming to your house, but let us take care of dinner this night or this night.”
Pride can keep us from sending emails like that, or maybe even a little bit of sadness that I’m getting to that age. But instead, my mom put that aside and did what you’re saying, and that was to extend the invitation. And it filled my brothers… I think I can speak for both of them and myself to say it filled us with such great joy and tenderness toward my mother to hear where we could help fill some of the gaps in the future.
Patsy: Nice way of putting it. It does kind of spread the Christmas joy around when everybody has an investment and you’re doing it for reasons that you really understand.
I think being tender with ourselves, as well as being inclusive and tender with those around us, really enhances and is what the season is truly all about. So that would be part of what I think is important.
Also, I was just thinking. This season, I am gonna go through all my pictures, which is at this age of my life, 5 million. So I’ve had a lot of Christmases, and our family has had a lot. My husband and I’ve been married 59 years, so you get a chance to have Christmas again and again. I’m gonna take out pictures through the years of Christmastime and put them in a basket and just set them out. Then, anyone who feels like it can go through those and stir up some of their own recollections of years past.
Andrew: That’s very, very cool. I like that idea. Some people may steal one or two of them, which hey, your gift to them, right?
Patsy: That’s alright. I got too many.
Andrew: We are talking about simplifying during the holidays as an opportunity to create space. That space could allow you time for reflection and meditation between yourself and God, or to learn something about yourself, or to make some space for relationship instead of just a busy schedule.
But when we come back, we want to talk a little bit about what we’ve been experiencing as a world over the past or two, the position that puts us in as we enter into the holiday season, and how we can also use simplicity to create space so that we have at least a special Christmas this year.
You’ve been listening to Bridges, and I am Andrew, the Millennial.
Patsy: And I’m Patsy, the Boomer.
Andrew: We’ll be right back.
Food for the Hungry Sponsorship Message
Patsy: Food for the Hungry is giving us a wonderful way to take God’s Word and invest it all over the world, and we get to be a part of it. It will deepen their spiritual experience, it will help in literacy issues, it will bring light into dark places, and we can do it all if you will help us help others. And how do we do that, Andrew?
Andrew: It’s pretty simple. Our friends at Food for the Hungry are giving us a unique opportunity to purchase Bibles for folks all around the world, and here’s the cool part, Patsy. It’s translated, ready to go, ready to read in their language, and that’s a rare thing around the world.
So go to fh.org/briges, and for $12 a pop, you can buy as many Bibles as you want to help our friends know God better and read better across the world. Go to fh.org/bridges.
The Abide Bible Sponsorship Message
Patsy: “Shout out praises to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with joy. Enter his presence with joyful singing. Acknowledge that the Lord is God. He made us and we belong to him; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture.”
That’s Psalms 100, verses 1 and 2, from my own Abide Bible.
When we abide him and his words abide in us, everything changes — our perspective, our attitude. So it anchors my soul when I go to the Word of God. It teaches me better behavior than I’d have otherwise because I can really suffer from a case of the attitude. So this helps to keep me in a better place with a sweeter attitude in a difficult world.
The Abide Bible comes in two different versions. I don’t know if you have a favorite, but there’s a New King James and then there’s the New English translation. It is set up so you can journal, so those of you who love to do notes on the side, this paper is set up to receive those notes. It also gives you insights on the edges of the pages that help us to read the Word in a more meaningful way, to meditate in such a way that it begins to sink into the very depths of our being, to pray the verse so that we get better claim on the truth in it, and then to contemplate so that as we move forward the Word goes with us.
So that is what I want to tell you about the Abide Bible because I believe in passing on the Good News.
Andrew: We have been talking about the Abide Bible throughout the entire Bridges broadcast, but one new way to highlight your experience of reading the Bible is a free 21-day video devotional series called Experience Abide. It’s an incredible way for people to experience the Bible themselves and adds a free benefit to your own spiritual growth, and so we are excited to offer not only the Bible but this free Experience Abide devotional series straight from bridgesshow.com/abide.
Patsy: During this season, one of the thoughts that was on my mind is we have a messy stable of a world. We just have had such problems and difficulties and unknowns that have happened and so much contention between people, and now we’re entering this holy holiday season. How do we make the transition and find our joy again?
And part of that is very necessary for good mental health. We were not designed to be at war in our mind, in our heart with people and processes and problems. We were meant to be a people of abundance of joy and abundance of kindness, abundance of availability — the things that really help the season to feel more authentic, something we can enter into and invest in a few others.
I can’t invest in anybody if I’ve wiped myself out, hanging too many tinsels, too many little flashy lights. I have to measure if I take on extras, what am I capable of doing without turning ornery? How can I love on people where they’re at to help relieve them of some of the tension that forms when we’re constantly in a world that’s upside down?
And our God told us in this world, you’re gonna have trouble, trouble, trouble, right here in River City, but— But he said be of good cheer. There’s that juxtaposition again. He invites us to be of good cheer in the midst of our problems, not because the problems have all been solved. So he will give us the path and the strength and the insight, if that’s what we’re seeking. What do you think?
“We have a messy stable of a world.”
Andrew: Well, I love that you say that juxtaposition because I even think about, practically speaking, where we celebrate Christmas on our current calendar is in the darkest point of the year. Isn’t that interesting that we celebrate the greatest Light of the World at the darkest point of the year?
It seems that the more I learn about Jesus, the more I encourage myself to be a disciple and to follow in the path of Jesus, to discover what that path is continually and then to continue to follow in it, that there is a lot of contrast when you’re following Jesus with the current circumstances we live in.
And so I think that is one of the beauties of Christmastime is because we are celebrating the hope of Christmas, which is Jesus, but I think what you’re saying, that if I come into the holiday season with no reservoirs, that may be something I want to think through throughout the year. The holidays will only exacerbate the mental and emotional state I’m already in going into it. So it’s not that the holidays are the bad guy. It’s that we may have to do some tending. It may shine a light on what we need to tend to throughout the year.
And I think in our relationship with God as the Light Bearer, as he is the Light of the World, that he is wanting to expose… We think of being exposed as a negative thing or as, Oh no, we’re going to get judged if someone knows my secrets or who I really am, and yet God invites us to the table with the full lights on and says, “It’s okay. I see you, and here’s the path to wholeness and to healing.”
And so I think we have to be mindful of our year round. If we’re finding ourselves really struggling during the holidays, it may be just we may need to simplify to create space to reflect on what do I need to do, where do I need to go, who do I need to ask for some help in these things I’m experiencing on a heightened level now but really are still lingering in January.
Patsy: And we may find ourselves in financial binds that doesn’t allow us to do what we once did, and we need to have the humility to step into that place and ask ourselves what else might I do.
Not long ago, I received a letter in the mail, and when I opened it, it was like three pages long and it was written by hand by a relative of mine thanking me for a lifetime of my investment in his life and what it had meant to him and what it taught him. I’ll keep that forever, forever. If I’m having a bad season, a bad day, feeling less than of value, I go read that again. Those words give me energy. They pour into my reservoir and they encourage me to do that for others.
So I would say, if you’re running low on funds, don’t go into great debt because that will only add to your mental health problems, but instead, take your pen and write your letters to the people that are most important, that you most want to bless with a gift but it needs to be in a new form. And trust me, they will love your words. When they are written from the heart and they’re based in truth, it will bless them over and over again.
Andrew: And the layers of benefit of taking the time to put pen to paper, it’s equivalent to a counselor asking you to journal, or it’s equivalent to creating that space for reflection, because if I’m writing a note to someone I care about as a gift to them, it will cause me to stop and to pause and to ponder and to think through what they mean to me, which will bring up all kinds of wonderful reflections and maybe so not okay reflections but in a safe space of offering ourselves to others.
I love that idea. I have a box. When I was a groomsman in a friend’s wedding, the groom’s gift was this really cool box with our last name etched on it, and that box I then thought, What am I going to do with this box? And I was much younger then and not as probably sentimental, but I started handwritten notes that were meaningful to me in it. And that box, I will still maybe once a year take time to go through that.
And you’re right. If I was to have a house fire and everything burned to the ground, you know what I would miss? That box. There is nothing else in my house I think of except that box that I would grieve.
So it means a lot to connect to others in that way, and I also think it’s so much… We write a lot nowadays in the context of social media and just our fingers are always typing out messages in different ways, but handwriting a note causes us, for some reason, to reorient our perspectives and not be so reactionary. It’s just a positive, hopeful spin for whatever reason because there's a lot of care put into it I think.
Patsy: Yes, and there’s something about handwriting that not only says that the person invested time and effort, but everyone’s handwriting is part of their ID. There’s no one that writes like another person. That’s why handwriting experts are used in court cases to prove guilt or innocence. So I love to see my grandmother’s handwriting or my mother’s or my dad’s or my brother’s. I can’t spot them all a mile away. I think, Oh, let me see that. That’s my mom wrote that. So it’s deeply personal.
So consider ways to take the pressure off yourself and yet still give something that has meaning and value.
Andrew: Yes. And tagging on to that, service to others doesn’t typically cost us money, and so if we are finding ourselves needing to budget a little tighter this year, by simplifying and creating space may budget some time in your schedule that you can utilize in service to others. Look around you. You will find plenty of churches and organizations and neighborhoods who are assisting people that are in various places of need during the holidays.
Patsy: You know what else you could make up? Little IOUs to the person that on Mondays you will always get a call from me, and we will then take the tradition that you had with your grandfather and be able to incorporate it in our calendar.
Andrew: I love that. There’s so many ways, aren’t there, to celebrate.
Patsy: Yes. If you stop and start brainstorming, even with yourself, you can come up with ways that are deeply meaningful and satisfying to your own soul.
Andrew: And if you find yourself in a tizzy over all the tinsel and lights, I do think both of us would encourage you maybe a gift to yourself would be finding resources of help. If that needs to wait until the new year because there's just too much throughout December, that’s okay too. Give yourself space and permission to put that on the list, but on the top of the list, to go ahead and start talking to someone about what it is that’s troubling you.
I certainly have benefitted from seasons of counseling and probably will have future seasons where I will benefit from the help of a counselor or good counsel, and that can come through a professional counselor or sometimes that can come through the very expertised help of a friend or a pastor.
Patsy: And remember that God is our Wonderful Counselor and coaching our emotions in his Word where he tenderly guides us through the dark valleys and invites us to the table where there is grace and mercy. There are so many ways we can reposition ourselves.
Another thing is music is so deeply moving and brings its own kind of cheer, and I certainly need that.
Cindy Morgan and Andrew Greer singing “The First Noel”
The first Noel the angel did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep,
On a cold winter's night that was so deep
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,
Born is the King of Israel
Patsy: Andrew, I understand, word is out, that you do another podcast with a friend of ours. Tell us about that.
Andrew: Mr. Mark Lowry, who was a guest on this podcast. He’s my co-host for Dinner Conversations with Mark Lowry and Andrew Greer. We have a ton of fun talking about all kinds of topics around the table, and you can find them at dinner-conversations.com.
Do you know something that we both love a lot of, Patsy?
Patsy: What’s that?
Andrew: That’s books.
Patsy: Food
Andrew: That too. But I hear you have a book club.
Patsy: I do have a book club. It’s called Porch Pals Book Club, and you can find out more about the book club by going to patsyclairmont.com.
Food for the Hungry Sponsorship Message
Patsy: Food for the Hungry is giving us a wonderful opportunity. I’m so glad that they have put this program into effect because of the literacy issue around the world, and this is going to help tackle that, plus bring the light of Christ into the lives of children that will be spread throughout the villages and the homes and the hearts of people. I love it. I love it. Tell us more.
Andrew: We have been given the opportunity, through our friends at Food for the Hungry, to purchase Bibles for people in communities around the world. The beauty of these Bibles is that they come ready to read. No matter where these folks are — that may be a community in Bolivia or Cambodia or Haiti or Kenya — all across the world, these Bibles are translated in their native tongue, which we think of being able to procure a Bible anytime we want, either through our technological devices or going to a bookstore, picking one up, or Amazon. It’s not as easily or readily available to other communities that are more rural and more impoverished around the world.
And so, of course, Food for the Hungry has been committed for decades to not only meeting the physical needs of people around the world, and of course, we helped do that through chickens last season. This season we’re getting to complete their mission, and that is meet the spiritual needs through the offering of a Bible.
So go to fh.org/bridges, and for $12, you can purchase a Bible for someone who is waiting to receive it across the world. And don’t forget — your gift is tax deductible.
Andrew: Well, welcome back to Bridges. We’re talking about creating space during the holidays, aren’t we, Patsy?
Patsy: We are.
Andrew: And one benefit of having space anytime during the year is the possibility of reading Scripture and reflecting on Scripture and letting it really seat in our minds and our hearts. But a passage that we go to a lot in the prophecies, of course prophet Isaiah, in Isaiah 9 that we read a lot during this season. There’s a translation, which I really love how it speaks this passage, familiar passage, out. It begins with: The people who had been living in darkness have seen a great light. The light of life has shined on those who dwelt in the shadowy darkness of death.
And then later in verse 6: Hope of all hopes, dream of our dreams, a child is born, sweet-breathed; a son is given to us: a living gift. And even now, with tiny features and dewy hair, He is great. The power of leadership, and the weight of authority, will rest on His shoulders. His name? His name we’ll know in many ways— He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Dear Father everlasting, ever-present never-failing, Master of Wholeness, Prince of Peace.
Patsy: A child is given, a great living gift. Christmas was long ago and immediately in our presence. There is no overdue notice. There is no expiration date on the work of Christ, from the moment he appeared to fulfill Scripture to this moment where he appears to help us to enter into this great light that he’s brought.
It is our prayer at Bridges that you would know the great bridge of Christ and his love in your life, and the way to know that is just to say yes. He awaits that word, that he might invite you to crossover the bridge into the territory of his provision.
We want to wish you a merry Christmas and pray that you will be able to simplify in this season that can get complex, and we invite you also into the sanity of his presence. When we position ourselves to hear him and to know him more deeply, we find that it’s easier to rise up and to carry on. So do step into a simpler season that can offer you sanity…
Andrew: And space.
Patsy: And that space is one of grace.
So merry Christmas to you from Andrew and myself, from Bridges, and from our sponsor.
Andrew: Food for the Hungry, meeting the physical and spiritual needs of people all around the world for over 50 years.
Patsy: Bridges is produced by my co-host, Andrew Greer.
Andrew: And co-produced by my co-host, Patsy Clairmont. Our podcast is recorded by Jesse Phillips.
Patsy: And sometimes my son, Jason Clairmont.
Andrew: At the Arcade in Franklin, Tennessee. Jesse Phillips is also our editor and mixes our show. And our theme music is written by Kyle Buchanan and yours truly, and all of the instruments of the music were played by Kyle Buchanan at Aries Lounge in Spring Hill, Tennessee. Our transcripts are provided by Rachel Worsham. Thanks, Rachel, for all your work.
Patsy: If you like what you’ve been listening to, you can help us out by leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to our show.
Andrew: For more information about Patsy, myself, or to read transcripts and to listen to more episodes, go to bridgesshow.com.
Patsy: Catch you next time.