Episode 34: Patsy & Andrew: Still Scared Silly!
Transcript
Patsy: Hi, I’m Patsy Clairmont, and I’m a Boomer.
Andrew: And I’m Andrew Greer, and I’m a Millennial.
Patsy: And you are listening to Bridges.
Andrew: Spiritual Connections Through Generational Conversations
Patsy: Season Two is brought to you by Food for the Hungry.
Andrew: Meeting the physical and spiritual needs of people all around the world for over 50 years.
Patsy: The great part about bridges is it takes you from one place to another that you would not otherwise be able to get to. And we’ve had quite a season, quite a very long season, of turmoil in our land and in the world, between sickness and national disasters. So as we have an ongoing menu, so to speak, of these things, how do we cope? How do we hang in there, and even rise up stronger?
Andrew: Yes. And I think even thinking through, or even recognizing, being aware. Anytime in my counseling sessions, one of the first things that we talk about, whatever I’m bringing to the table, is that my counselor will help me make sure I’m aware of my current feelings. I don’t know if anyone else has done this in their counseling session, but he holds up a feeling sheet, and it has a range of feelings and then kind of the fringe feelings for each of those feelings, which allows you to kind of center your mind and your spirit in the present.
We’ve got a lot going on around us and a lot of commentary about what is going on around us, and that can cause me personally to feel disconnected from reality and also the feelings that I’m actually feeling. So sometimes expressing how I’m feeling first will help ground me in the present. Then, from there, I can use it as kind of a trampoline to go, Okay, what is happening in the world around me, or what is happening in my circumstances, and what do I do about that? Because I don’t think we are called to be people of fear, but it seems culture around us is calling us back into the cycle of fear. So how do we cycle out of that when everything around us seems to be pressing us into it?
Patsy: I remember in the darkest time of my life God speaking to me through the psalms, and he said, “I have brought you out of a horrible pit and a miry clay, and I’ve set your feet upon a rock. I’ve established your goings, and I’ve put a new song on your lips, even praises to my God.”
And I’ve had to remind myself, from time to time, of that horrible pit of fear that he brought me out of. Otherwise, I am very conditioned to slip back into it if I’m not careful. And when I say conditioned, it is my natural makeup to live on the nervous side of things, and so I have to make a choice to move past my feelings into my faith life so that I can find balance and health. And so that’s been really important in these dark times.
When you talked about commentary, I think of all the reports that come out from all sides, and they just seem to stir gloom and doom. And if we sit in that for any length of time, we’re gonna carry it away. It is not that we should not be informed of the problems, but we need to remember what is our responsibility and what is not. I can’t fix the world, but I can take the problems of the world that certainly do end up affecting me and my family, and I can talk to Jesus about them. He knows already his agenda, and his intentions toward us are always love. He said, “There’s faith, there’s hope, there’s love, and the greatest of these is love.”
Someone once said the opposite of fear is not being brave; the opposite of fear is love. Love is what conquers the fear, and that love is the love of God moving through our lives.
Andrew: And part of love is sharing, right. And so when I think about what do I do when I am sitting in a spell of fear, I often, as a musician — but I think this is more than being a musician; I think this is probably having grown up in the church — is I hum a hymn. And one of the hymns that comes up often for me personally in times of worry or distress is “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” A part of one of the verses says, “Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share?”
I think the truth of the matter that Jesus has walked the path before us, that God has so closely identified with us by becoming a human, and therefore, I can trust that indeed he has shared and is sharing my sorrows. That in and of itself can be a huge comfort to relax a little bit.
Like you’re saying, it doesn’t mean I need to ignore or avoid what is going around me, but I don’t have to get caught up in the confusion of it. The clarity comes from knowing that the greatest friend that I’ve ever had is Jesus, and so if Jesus is my greatest friend and Jesus has all my sorrows shared, then I know I can rest. I can go to sleep at night, and I don’t know what I’m going to wake up to in the morning, but I can trust it is for my good and I do think for his glory.
And so if that is settled… I heard some commentary — not to bring up someone else’s opinion, but we’ve all heard plenty — but I thought he had some sound observations. This was not a person coming at it from a spiritual perspective, but I think we can apply it to our own spiritual lives. He said he felt the stark reaction, or the really aggravated reaction of people to the initial news of the pandemic, had less to do with the virus itself and had more to do with the fact that, perhaps, and he said especially in worlds where we have more wealth, so we’re not quite as connected to the earth. I don’t grow my own tomatoes. I go and buy them. He said that perhaps we had convinced ourselves, though consciously we all know that we will not escape death. That’s a hundred percent going to be an experience we each have, but that we had perhaps subconsciously convinced ourselves that we don’t die. And so then when faced with an illness we can’t quite control, we don’t understand, and there are people dying from that, that that caused that reaction. And he said regardless of what you believe, that is a one-on-one spiritual conversation for you to have with yourself and an understanding you have to come to.
So I think to be alert in our spiritual lives and to tend to the garden of our relationship with God can help us when the circumstances we can’t control, i.e., a pandemic, i.e., a natural disaster, comes into our life.
Patsy: I love that you said “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” and humming. My mother was a hummer. She hummed that so often. As I look back, I realize that she did that usually as a reaction to overcome a fear she was facing. There were bad storms outside — she’d start humming “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”
But when she was just full of joy and needed to express it, then she would put the words to it and sing it out loud. That’s sweet memories, but it also was something that I could use as an example for those moments when I’m needing reassurance that may not come from another person. I may need to hum the words of my faith that have been a sustaining power in my life, knowing that it is about my Lord and my Savior who is constant in his involvement in my life.
I have done a lot of different things through this time to help maintain my mental health. One is, for the very first time, I baked bread. It came out gorgeous.
Andrew: Awesome.
Patsy: And Les and I ate both loaves in record time. It was so good.
But during the middle of the preparation, when it was in the bowl and the dough hook was moving around, I took a picture of it. Actually, I took a video of it, and I sent it to my friend who gave me the recipe, which happens to be Anita Renfroe, and I said, “Anita, I’m making this. Something doesn’t seem quite right.” Well, she sent back, “First,” she said, “turn the machine off.” She said, “You’re killing the dough. You’ve got that thing on full throttle. It should be on low.” Well, I laughed my head off because I had to chase the mixer across the counter because it took off on its own. I had that thing just whipping around so fast. I did learn I have to slow down my method to be a baker, but I did end up with a product that was quite wonderful.
But step outside your natural tendencies of where you use your energies. Be curious about new things. That is a wonderful mental activity that will give you personally more resources, and mentally it will give you a break from all the cycling news full of intimidation.
During that time, I am a book girl. If someone knows me for five minutes, I’ve either given them a book or recommended 10, and so I’m always thinking now I need to read things that I wouldn’t normally choose. And I heard about this book, and it fascinated me. It’s called The Lost Words by Robert Macfarlane, and the illustrations are done by Jackie Morris. The reason they did this book... It’s a large book. It’s expensive. It’s beautiful paper. It’s wonderful artistic impressions, and it is beautiful words by Robert. He is a poet, very well known for both his poetry and his books of blessing, and so he’s very word enriched.
What had happened is when the new junior version of the Oxford dictionary came out that’s used in schools around the world, they had dropped out a lot of words about nature. They had been replaced with a lot of words about technology, and the concern that this author and this artist had was that we were taking away from our children very important verbiage that would serve them well in exploring creation. And because our Creator put all of this creation together, we want our children to know these words.
And the words they took out of the Oxford Junior Dictionary are gonna surprise you because they’re words like acorn and fern and bluebell and otter. I mean, words that are so visual and real to us that incorporate so much, like the acorn, how small an acorn and look what it grew, this mighty oak.
It’s just gorgeous. I take it out and go through it from time to time, and I often leave it out in the living room for other people to see. But what is it that you’re giving attention to with your mind, because your mind matters, and if you’ve got it circling around and ‘round disaster and threats, it is not gonna serve you well, not your blood pressure, not your circulation, not your conversation. So this is one of the ways that I do — I search out, in my curiosity, information about new things.
How about you?
Andrew: Well, I’m gonna piggyback on that right after we come back from a commercial break. Before we head out for a second, these are things that though we learn them in the forefront, when the pandemic was on the forefront of our minds in the beginning, obviously we are still continuing with some of the trend of that virus and also other things that we’re experiencing. These are things that can be implemented now as well, so don’t ever forget that you don’t have to wait for the inauguration of a new virus to begin implementing space in your life to recognize new things and to also put boundaries around the information that you do receive.
We are gonna be back. I’m with…
Patsy: Patsy Clairmont, the Boomer.
Andrew: I’m Andrew Greer, the Millennial. We’ll see you in a second.
Food for the Hungry Sponsorship Message & Grand Prize Giveaway
Patsy: Food for the Hungry is giving us a wonderful way to take God’s Word and invest it all over the world, and we get to be a part of it. It will deepen their spiritual experience, it will help in literacy issues, it will bring light into dark places, and we can do it all if you will help us help others. And how do we do that, Andrew?
Andrew: It’s pretty simple. Our friends at Food for the Hungry are giving us a unique opportunity to purchase Bibles for folks all around the world, and here’s the cool part, Patsy. It’s translated, ready to go, ready to read in their language, and that’s a rare thing around the world.
So go to fh.org/briges, and for $12 a pop, you can buy as many Bibles as you want to help our friends know God better and read better across the world.
Patsy: For those of you who buy some Bibles to give away, there’s something for you.
Andrew: That’s right. Every single Bible that you purchase to help people in need around the world through Food for the Hungry is an entry into the Grand Prize Giveaway, and do you know what that Grand Prize Giveaway is, Patsy?
Patsy: I don’t.
Andrew: Well, I’m gonna tell you. You can choose from a selection of Patsy’s artwork, and we’ll make a special print for you that you’re gonna sign.
Patsy: Patsy’s artwork?
Andrew: Sure enough. And then you can pick your favorite hymn, whatever is your favorite hymn from the hymn book, you just let us know, and I will record an original version for you. Plus, that grand prize winner gets a stack of books and CDs signed by us just for them.
Now, here’s the other deal: Anyone who buys 10 or more Bibles to help those in need, we will do a little original Scripture watercolor for them where you’ll get your paint brush dashing across that canvas and I will write the Scripture of their choice hand written on it. We’ll number it, we’ll sign it. It’ll be a special art piece just for your home, and all to say thanks for helping us at fh.org/bridges.
The Abide Bible Sponsorship Message
Patsy: “Shout out praises to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with joy. Enter his presence with joyful singing. Acknowledge that the Lord is God. He made us and we belong to him; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture.”
That’s Psalm 100, verses 1 and 2, from my own Abide Bible.
When we abide him and his words abide in us, everything changes — our perspective, our attitude. So it anchors my soul when I go to the Word of God. It teaches me better behavior than I’d have otherwise because I can really suffer from a case of the attitude. So this helps to keep me in a better place with a sweeter attitude in a difficult world.
The Abide Bible comes in two different versions. I don’t know if you have a favorite, but there’s a New King James and then there’s the New English translation. It is set up so you can journal, so those of you who love to do notes on the side, this paper is set up to receive those notes. It also gives you insights on the edges of the pages that help us to read the Word in a more meaningful way, to meditate in such a way that it begins to sink into the very depths of our being, to pray the verse so that we get better claim on the truth in it, and then to contemplate so that as we move forward the Word goes with us.
So that is what I want to tell you about the Abide Bible because I believe in passing on the Good News.
Andrew: We have been talking about the Abide Bible throughout the entire Bridges broadcast, but one new way to highlight your experience of reading the Bible is a free 21-day video devotional series called Experience Abide. It’s an incredible way for people to experience the Bible themselves and adds a free benefit to your own spiritual growth, and so we are excited to offer not only the Bible but this free Experience Abide devotional series straight from bridgesshow.com/abide.
Andrew: Well, we are back on Bridges, and we’re talking about how to maneuver ourselves mentally in the middle of a bunch of sustained feelings that have been a part of our culture over the past couple years.
Patsy was talking about this beautiful book called The Lost Words, but we were just talking on the break they brought in the word bramble, which of course if you think about bramble, you might think of that more as negative space in nature because of the thorns. It can hurt, it can scrape, it can scratch, it can cut, but in the beautiful visual they have accompanying bramble, the birds are able to safely get inside the bramble, right, Patsy?
Patsy: That’s right.
Andrew: And they’re able to land on the branches between the thorns, and inside are where the berries are. So sometimes in the middle of the most tricky…
Patsy: Picky…
Andrew: Picky, prickly situations can be nuggets of gold, and we certainly don’t want to miss this time and season of our lives.
I think nature… You were asking what did I do to kind of wake up my senses to what was available around me while we were being inundated with the news that everything was dire was to get outside. You know that about me. I’m a man of nature, but I had a friend who came and lived with me for about two or three months when we first shut down and people had to stay home, and he was living in a very crowded situation in Nashville, and I live in a little bit more of a rambling situation south of Nashville. So he said, “Could I come stay for a little bit?” We thought that was two weeks at first, right. And so ended up being a few months before he was able to get settled back into his work and all that.
But he would be kind of reeling over the news at my kitchen table, and so early on, I said, “Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do, buddy. Every afternoon at 2 o’clock, you and me, we’re going for a walk.” Sometimes we’d go to a new destination, a new trail. Sometimes we’d just walk around the neighborhood or the college that’s next door. And I said, “Just as a way to remember that the world is still operating, that nature by design is still functioning. There are broken things, this virus is one of those broken things, but we are still coexisting with a world that is in order by nature.”
And so it was springtime, right. Everyone remembers. And the things that we saw in nature — of course there was less movement from people and cars and all those extra things we’ve added to — that I remember thinking, Are there more birds this year, or do I just see more birds this year? I don’t know. Did that tree usually blossom in that color? I don’t remember that. What about those flowers on that bush? There were things that just by taking a walk and having the space and time, and we would come back to the house with our feelings more, I don’t know about collected, but more calm. We were calmer.
And so I think anything we can do to reconnect. There were friends of mine who were in more developing countries where they didn’t have access to being able to have spacious living scenarios when the virus hit. There wasn’t as many opportunities for them to avoid the negative effects of the virus, but they were experiencing, according to my friends, less anxiety and less fear. I think that has to do with that they’re a little more in touch with the natural world because, again, like I said earlier, they’re having to grow their own tomatoes. They’re having to submit themselves to the processes of the earth that provide for us naturally, regardless of whether et cetera.
So anyway, I think when I talk about my friend and going on walks, don’t you think one of the big benefits was a reawakening to the importance of community in our lives?
Patsy: To community and also to nature because the Lord has written his name all throughout creation, and getting to read his name over and over in a beautiful tree or a whole forest, there was something so healing about it. And to pay more attention to the colors in the heavens because he tells us the heavens declare the glory of God, so getting to participate in that was like worship and that's good for the soul, good for the soul.
So I think there’s just so many things that if we stop and think for a moment, even handwriting a note, it’s a way of serving another person, and when we get lonely and think we need people, there’s dozens of ways to do it besides a home visit. You can do a Zoom with your friend, or you can do a FaceTime, or you can find creative solutions to the missing parts.
But one of the things I love is that today you can hang out with people that you won’t get to hang out with even when everything’s as it should be. So you can learn some of their secrets by listening in on their Instagram or on Pinterest or whatever is your thing to listen in to. If you’re young, TikTok, but watch out — that’s all I got to say.
So focusing in on what matters, and people matter.
Andrew: Yeah, yeah. I think also something that can help center our thoughts is at the heart of it, the reason we are reacting or not reacting or whatever we’re feeling, is because I think in general one of the hopeful things for me through this process has been to observe we do care about life and we do care about each other's lives. When something like an illness is impacting that, influencing that, is affecting our lives in negative manners, we resist because we know that death was not the design for life. And so I think at the core of it is a really strong sense of unity. I think it’s the imprint of God within us that’s echoing eternity and has been for all of time.
I just experienced a friend that I’ve known for years who goes to my church who just died this weekend from COVID-pneumonia, and unexpected and left behind his wife and a child, and that is a reality that I can’t ignore. That’s not news. That’s not Twitter information. That is a reality, and it is okay. I want everyone listening to be okay with that it’s not how we want it to be. We can be sad about it. We can grieve it. We can express our sorrows, and again, we can go to Jesus with those sorrows. It is not as we want it to be, and our hunch is it is not as it was designed to be. So even a manner of unification or a manner of community that we can express with each other is us being okay with that together.
Patsy: Yes. And I think it’s important that we learn to embrace the mystery of who God is. We’re not going to be able to fit him into a box to explain him to a neighbor who says, “If God is God, why has he allowed this hardship?” We can’t explain God even to our own heart and our own mind. We question at times, and he tells us, “Your ways are not my ways. My ways are so much higher and purer and loving.” And there is an eternal design from the beginning of time that he’s had out of his mercy and grace toward us.
We just need to realize that God is for us, has always been, will always be, and that things won’t always be this hard. Maybe some lives will have difficulties because he said, “In this life, you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer ‘cause I’ve overcome the world.” So even in the midst of difficulty, he can give us an unexplainable joy and peace, and so being able to step into patterns of growth is so encouraging in hard times.
Andrew: To circle back to the beginning of this episode and this conversation where you were reciting from the psalms, this is one of my favorite psalms: Psalm 139. This is just a couple verses of it, but it says:
“Even if I’m afraid and think to myself, ‘There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me, the light around me will soon be turned to night,’ you can see in the dark, for it is not dark to your eyes. For you the night is just as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to you.”
So that is a psalm that I come back to. I think we both would encourage anyone to dive into the psalms when trying to figure out how to stay sane. The psalms give a lot of voice to our feelings and a lot of assurance for our souls.
So we are grateful that you have joined us. Bridges has been entirely within the pandemic, so we are a pandemic baby, and we are grateful you have joined us in this time and we hope that we can be a friendship to you during this time, no matter where you find yourself in our current events today. Hopefully this is a place where you can join in the conversation and be centered.
Patsy: And if you’re grieving, know that there are those who are called in the middle of the night to pray for you, that God awakens us and sometimes we don’t even know the person we’re praying for. We know that his spirit is spoken, and we are lifting your cause and your pain. We care about you, as does he. In very particular ways, he makes himself known, so watch for those known places.
Andrew Greer singing "Jesus, Friend, Be Near"
Late in the night when I can’t sleep
Early in the morning with no words to speak
When my mind is heavy and my heart grows drear
Oh, Jesus my friend, will you be near?
When my nerve is caving ‘neath doubt and fear
And my soul feel heavier than my thoughts can clear
When the world around me just gives in
Oh, Jesus my friend, will you invite me in?
Oh, Comforter, Prince of Peace
When I feel alone, will you with me meet?
When my mind is heavy and my heart grows drear
Oh, Jesus my friend, will you be near?
When death starts knocking at my door
Will you carry me to the other shore?
As my soul runs free, no pain more
Jesus, my friend, will you invite me in?
Oh, Comforter, oh, Prince of Peace
When I feel alone, will you with me meet?
When my soul is heavier than my thoughts can clear
Oh, Jesus my friend, will you be near?
Oh, Jesus my friend, will you be near?
Patsy: Bridges is produced by my co-host, Andrew Greer.
Andrew: And co-produced by my co-host, Patsy Clairmont. Our podcast is recorded by Jesse Phillips.
Patsy: And sometimes my son, Jason Clairmont.
Andrew: At the Arcade in Franklin, Tennessee. Jesse Phillips is also our editor and mixes our show. And our theme music is written by Kyle Buchanan and yours truly, and all of the instruments of the music were played by Kyle Buchanan at Aries Lounge in Spring Hill, Tennessee. Our transcripts are provided by Rachel Worsham. Thanks, Rachel, for all your work.
Patsy: If you like what you’ve been listening to, you can help us out by leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to our show.
Andrew: For more information about Patsy, myself, or to read transcripts and to listen to more episodes, go to bridgesshow.com.
Patsy: Catch you next time.